My room smells like vodka and shame
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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