nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Come on in and take your pants off
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