I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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