I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
