I accidentally had phone sex last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
