i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
