Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
