You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
