I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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