Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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