The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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