community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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