Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
