i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize