If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize