This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
