yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
