That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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