I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
