you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize