you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
