So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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