yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
