Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize