Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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