Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
