Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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