Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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