So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
