make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
