The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
