I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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