I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
