i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
