HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
