That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
