we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
