GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
