best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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