I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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