i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
