i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize