sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we should paint friendship bongs
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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