stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
