just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The Olympian is in my bed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
