i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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