My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
