was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
i will never coherently bang her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So much Jack, so little girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
