You just made me feel so damn special
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
