if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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