I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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