I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
