chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize