we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
