Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
