In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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