how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
