No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
