Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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