I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
