i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
