well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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