Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
