just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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